to align our fate

there is great work ahead of one who arrogantly believes they can align the fate of two souls in this vast earth. like faith they hope for things that are not seen. they also believe them to be true. however unlike faith they may be in err. i have found this true on many occasions. i see a lady. or perhaps a girl who i think to be a lady. either way, i see her and without approach or introduction i attempt to notice the things that she secretly wishes those around her would notice. for all have things they wish others would see in themselves. yet as i quietly peak and pry into who i assume she is, i build her as a character, much like one would read about in a great book. a book like Pride and Prejudice. where in your mind each individual gains complexity and personality as you read...however in most books your assumptions are usually wrong. this also is generally true in our ever so non-fictional lives. we want to believe one thing about people we do not know and are all to often left wanting.

the point that i am greatly attempting to exaggerate is this: i see a girl, i hope she is the theoretical girl of my dreams, i discover her real interest, i meet her, she does not see the vision i see, i am a loser with a lot of now wasted time

here is a list of things that have recently transpired....all done to get her attention without actual face-to-face interaction

I actually deleted this list, because after reading it all the way through at this later date(1/30/08)...I have realized the relative unimportance of what I did. And that the real principle to be learned is found below in the original last paragraph.

simply put, i am agitated that whenever i try to go the extra mile, it is unrecognized or ignored...and the irony sadly is that when girls have done this same thing for me, it likewise goes unrecognized or ignored. and this is my lesson learned.....